My favorite- I buy strawberries (the antioxidant rich fruit) and dip them in Nutella. 

and then suddenly not today? I feel my mood swinging.

?

Slowly, and one by one, getting rid of toxic people from my life. If someone is just a “friend” or “lover” who is bringing you down, it’s going to be hard but take that step back. You want to be surrounded by people who give back the love you put in. You’ll feel lonely at first but if you wait patiently/make an effort/be supportive of who you are and show it to the world, you can do it. I’ve found over the years that toxic people did nothing but worsen my condition and kick me while I was down, you don’t need that. 

talk to me 

Today I saw my newest therapist after taking myself off Zoloft cold turkey. Depression hit hard the other night I knew I had to make an appointment. My dad offered to drive because he likes going past the beach on the way at night. I could tell by the look on his face he heard me talking about self harm and dangerous thoughts from the waiting room next door (thin shitty walls, I could hear him sneezing from the other side). My doctor had to sit down with him and tell him that my symptoms are severe and that I need to be on medication or I’m only going to get worse. Thinking about how worried he is for me honestly makes my stomach sick. I don’t like attention and I don’t like sympathy and I definitely don’t like for anyone to worry about me. I wish he knew how sorry I am that I add this extra stress on to his life. 

Happy or depressed?

meet our anonymous co-editor who will write about how she deals with schizophrenia! She will be on THIS page (we’re workin’ on it). 

I have decided to make a list of things you should not mix with your antidepressants (aka, things my quack psychiatrist never warned me about), here they are-

1. THE most important one of all. And this goes for people on Xanax or Valium also. DO NOT DRINK GRAPEFRUIT JUICE. The combination literally creates toxins in your body (because of the enzymes in the grapefruit) that could send you to the ER or KILL you.

2. Caffeine. It can cause adverse reactions randomly with the medications you are on.

3. Driving in the morning (if you take it at night) or driving at night (if you take it in the morning) or driving around the time when you were supposed to take the pill but you skipped one by accident. I found that it put me in a total daze and I actually almost got in a car wreck once. So please be cautious.